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Monday, October 06, 2008

Bizzaro Maverick

Me am John McCain! Me crawling for Bizzaro Prezdent! Me Maverick! Agree all Bush do! See? That am Mav-rick! Me big Unregulator! Now me say, "Big Rules Good!" Change good! Mav-Rick! Bad Money Men NEED new rules. Me am a Keating Five! Mav-RICK! Big Unregulator make good Regulator! Make sense to ME! Me a Maverick to LOGIC! See? Me run away me own ideas! Me Maverick to Me! Bad Democraps! Me a BY Party Son! Not like Crappy Stupid Democraps. I reach cross aisle. Shake hands one hand! Rabbit Punch other! By Party Son, Maverick! Crappy Stupid Big Brain 'Bama. He eat fancy lettuce. 'Bama like Terror-Fists! 'Bama say look at past! Me no look at past. Me war hero! Me live in box. No look at past. Look past past to past I say look at! MAV-RICK! MAhhhV-RiiIICK! --Me John McCain! Me approve message.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Leadership: We Get Exactly What We Deserve

President Bush is the worst President in modern History. I don't know enough about American History, like the "Teapot Dome Scandal," to compare Bush to earlier Presidents. Certainly the massive ethnic cleansing that was done against Native Americans ought to go down as a black mark on SOME President's record and put them in the running for "Worst," maybe Andrew Jackson.

But there is no question that this President has been on vacation more than any other. He made little effort to actually guide the country through difficult times. I lay the current financial crisis squarely at the feet of Bush and the Republican Congress. For six years they gave a mutual rubber stamp to any and all excesses in spending, war profiteering, lax regulation, thoughtless deregulation, TORTURE, attacks on civil liberties and insane budget deficits and record National Debt.

It's takes hard work for a President to seem MORE criminal than Nixon. More Tricky than Dick. An even bigger Dick! President Bush is the perfect storm of criminal negligence, arrogance, stupidity, criminal culpability and incompetence. I think this administration would have screwed Our Nation less IF they had TRIED, that is how incompetent they are in my eyes.

It's telling that the Republican President, the Republican Presidential Nominee and the Republican House Minority leader couldn't lead more than 33% or their own party to vote for a bipartisan bill that all of them claimed was essential to the vitality of the World Economy. Where is the LEADERSHIP from the Republicans? Where is the Republican Leadership on a day when the Dow loses the most points in HISTORY?

OK. Bush is a dip-shit. A Grade-A dithering nimrod. At this point Bush and McCain are not even capable of leading paid members of their own party. Not ONE Arizona Congressman (McCain's home state) was willing to follow McCain's leadership on the Economic Rescue Bill. The Republicans looked for an excuse to SHUT DOWN their National Convention, rather than be photographed standing next to Bush. Bush stinks, and obviously the Republicans think the stink is contagious. That said, Bush still occupies the Office of the President. He is still the Figurehead of the United States. For Better or Worse, for Richer or for Poorer, we as a Nation said "I Do," TWICE! We have nobody to blame for Bush but ourselves (especially for re-electing the boob).

But We need to respect the Office of the President. We need to respect the Democracy that put him in power. In that regard, I think it would be not only rude, but unpatriotic to ignore a phone call or invitation from the President. IF the President called me on the phone, I would answer. If the President asked me to come the White House and pose for a picture, I would accept the invitation. I would even grit my teeth and smile. It would be rude to do otherwise.

I also think that it would be unconscionable, rude and unpatriotic for the American People to put someone who agreed with even 90% of Bush's policies over the last eight years back in the Oval Office. Our Country is in desperate need of a true Leader, somebody who can restore respect, trust and confidence back to the Office of the President. We desperately need change. I don't think we can get that from a pseudo-maverick, frankly a leadership-gelding, like John McCain. It's our Patriotic Duty as Americans to VOTE. It's our job as citizens to put in place the kind of leaders we think we deserve. In a Democracy we get what we deserve. And I believe we deserve more than the erratic, knee-jerk (and rubber stamped) judgment of John McCain. I believe we deserve more than Bush-Lite. It is my Prayer that (this time) Americans can recognize Leadership when they see it. I believe that we are being offered the chance to vote for a True Leader. I HOPE for CHANGE. I'm voting for Obama.

Friday, September 26, 2008

What's the Baby Using?

The answer is too obvious.

When logic and reason aren't enough, we turn to definition and unreason. 

What's the baby using? 25.

read more | digg story

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What's the baby using? If you just don't get it.

What's to get! It's not funny. It's not supposed to be funny. It's not supposed to be anything.

Len Peralta was walking through a mall with his baby. A guy at a cell phone kiosk asked the non sequitur question, "What's the baby using?" Who knows what the salesman meant by that! Maybe he was just trying to get Len to stop and chat. Maybe Len misheard him. But the question stuck in Len's head. So he and the baby continued through the mall, and when they came upon another cell phone salesman, Len asks, "What's the baby using?" Maybe Len thought it was some kind of cell phone salesman catch phrase. Anyway, without missing a beat, the other salesman simply says, "25!"

Again, this is a complete non sequitur. "25" has nothing to do with "What's the baby using?" But "What's the baby using?" has nothing to do with anything in the first place.

OK. So Len finds this silly or funny or somehow interesting. And Len makes a video. He asks some of his friends, "What's the baby using?" and they answer, "25." My guess is that Len was holding up a sign that read, "The Answer is 25," right under the video camera.

Some of Len's friends are moderately and modestly famous. (Jonathan Coulton and Paul and Storm, to name a few.) Even Len is modestly famous, he hosts a Podcast, "Jawbone Radio." That podcast has talked about this phenomenon. Len is also a talented graphic artist.

SO, "What's the baby using? 25!" catches on. Some call it an "inside joke," some call it a "forced meme." I call in nonsense, Dada and intentional pointlessness. But it's caught on.

Several YouTube videos have been dedicated to the subject. Len has a site, www.whatsthebabyusing.com that feeds into another site, www.needcoffee.com/the-truth-about-25/ He's also got www.thetruthabout25.com, but that just feeds back to needcoffee.com. Since Len created "What's the baby using?" and he seems to be connected to needcoffee.com, I consider that to be currently the definitive web site on the subject.

Now, here's the deal. A joke that has to be explained is never funny. A joke that get's explained to you is less funny. But this isn't a joke. Or if it is a joke, it's just that if you know that the answer is "25" you won't be confused by the question, "What's the baby using?" Jokes are funny. If "What's the baby using?" was funny it wouldn't be pointless. And my contention is that pointlessness is the whole point.

If "What's the baby using?" is a joke, I just ruined it!

It it HAS to be a joke, here's one of the funniest:

http://apelad.blogspot.com/2008/09/laugh-out-loud-cats-25.html

Here are some reasons for liking and enjoying "What's the baby using? 25":

1) It's a non sequitur. It's nonsense. Nonsense is funny just because it makes no sense. I'm not sure why that is, it just is. Read "Alice in Wonderland" or the Far Side or watch Andy Kaufman lip-sync the Mighty Mouse Theme Song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfsrg28jE7k

2) It's an inside joke. If you know the answer," 25," you aren't confused by the question, "What's the baby using?" In fact, you may somehow feel empowered by your knowledge and by the belief that you are now in the In-Crowd.

3) In a world where Macro-Economics, International Military Policy, Radical Religious Extremism and the Price of Gas make NO SENSE, our confusion can lead to FEAR. Finding something that is confusing but totally innocuous can be comforting.

4) "What's the baby using? 25!" is just plain silly. It's silly that anybody would devote hours of time, several URLs, the aid of his friends and strangers in promoting a non-concept. Seriously, there is nothing there. No hidden meanings. No meaning at all. It's just a glorious mess, a beautiful waste of time. It's silly that someone like me would spend WAY more time commenting on your blog than you took in creating it!

5) "What's the baby using? 25" is a bit of interactive performance art, mostly on the Web. I think it relates to Dada, but I might be full of crap. I think Len has been very generous in not claiming ownership or even authorship of this work. He's just it's original curator, promoter and philosopher. The work is open for contribution, interpretation and addition. I see THIS VERY BLOG entry as a major contribution to the art piece that "25" is becoming.

Have you ever heard of the John Cage piece, 4'33""? Here's a link to an orchestral version.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUJagb7hL0E

If you've never not heard 4'33" then this is your chance to not hear 4'33" now. I think there are parallels between what John Cage was trying to convey in 4'33" and what Len and others have been trying to say or unsay with "What's the baby using?"

6) "What's the baby using? 25" is like a Rorsharch Test. Because (by definition) it has no meaning, whatever meaning you see in it is ameaning that you bring to it or has somehow been conveyed upon you. My ramblings here are, by definition, pointless. I'm just trying to foist the meanings that I have "discovered" in "25" on you! My hope is that I haven't spoiled this for you, but enhanced in some small way your experience of "25."

7) The more time that’s invested in a pointless activity, the more importance it seems to convey. This is the logic (if it can be said that there is any) behind most fraternity hazings and many modern religions! It’s called cognitive dissonance. "What’s the baby using? 25!" What is the point in studying the intentionally pointless! Where is the logic in trying to find the nuances in things that are by definition illogical? I don't know. All I know is that I find a certain purity, sincerity, beauty and joy in all of it. There is a certain truthiness here that goes beyond facts or sense.

I've coined the term, "Cryptomemetics," to describe the phenomenon of fads that catch on even if we have no understanding of what they are or why. It’s not a forced meme, just pointless. What’s the point of a meaningless activity if we are willing to give up on it quickly or easily? Treadmill sales would crash if everyone gave up on pointless activity. So go ahead, jog to nowhere and just freely admit that the baby is still using 25.